Finding him alone upstairs in Grandma's reading room, I asked Uncle Christopher, "Can you tell your girls you spanked me? I'll give you $5."

Outside, the July 4th family reunion was well underway.

"Why, Grace?" my uncle asked, puzzled.

So I told him how I bragged that spankings don't bother me, now that I'm 13. I've totally changed my attitude.

"I even told your daughters that I'd ASK you for a spanking," I smiled. "They each bet $5 I'd chicken out."

Their dad's spankings still scare Darleen, 10, and Rhonda, 9. And I know why. Uncle Christopher included me in a scary 3-way spanking – because of some illegal firecrackers – at our reunion exactly five years ago.

I explained my scheme. "I give you $5 and I keep $5. Everybody wins."

"Everybody except Darleen and Rhonda," he shrugged. "Tell me, WHY am I giving you this spanking? I can't just spank for no reason."

"How about marijuana?" I replied.

I confessed that I'd gone to a party recently. Upon arrival, I learned the host's folks weren't home. Some kids were smoking pot. I left immediately.

"So I almost actually deserve one, Uncle Chris."

My eyes watered. "Dad would've spanked me, just on general principles – if he were alive."

"Miss him?"

"Not if I'm about to get spanked!" I laughed, not wanting to talk about Dad.

"If we're faking this spanking, Grace, shouldn't we have sound effects?"

"Good idea!" I exclaimed, happy to change the subject. "I bet my cousins are skulking about the hallway right now."

"Consider this," he suggested, taking Grandma's copy of Dr. Spock from the shelf, apparently unread. "You go over my lap. I shield your behind with Dr. Spock. I spank the book cover. You pretend to cry."

"Maybe give me some real swats, just to start me up," I suggested. "With Dad, all I needed was 2-3 zingers to open the floodgates."

Guiding me over his lap, Uncle Christopher asked, "Grace, has your mother taken over your spankings?"

"Naw."

"So none since the accident?"

"Nope."

Without permission, he bared my bottom.

Just like five years ago, Uncle Christopher gave me one terrible, awful spanking.

Despite the agreement, Dr. Spock didn't shield me.

I got no protection at all.

– – – – –

Walking downstairs, his arm around my shoulders, Uncle Christopher explained, "I think you needed that spanking, Grace. Your father would approve. And regarding your little scheme, I'm not comfortable lying to my girls."

"No problem. You spanked me and that's no lie!"

Outside, I could tell by their expressions that Darleen and Rhonda had eavesdropped.

"A terrible spanking!" exclaimed Darleen, handing me $5.

"Awful!" agreed Rhonda, following suit.

I made my way over to Uncle Christopher, handing him his $5.

"I never charge for spankings, Grace," he smiled, hugging me.

"It's yours," I insisted. "You earned it. Besides, we made a deal."

"I feel like I tricked you," said my uncle apologetically, taking the $5.

"Funny," I smiled cryptically. "I feel like I tricked you."